Honestly, the plot makes even less sense than that précis, but who cares when you have Mr. T cast as a Bearded Lady, Bobcat Goldthwait as a human sock puppet, an uncredited Keanu Reeves as Ortiz The Dog Boy.

The Naked Gun or Flying High of body horror movies, no other movie boasts Mr. T as a Bearded Lady, Keanu Reeves as a dog boy, Bobcat Goldthwait voicing a sock puppet and Brooke Shields openly expressing her hatred for Return to the Blue Lagoon.

Freaked is a relic that would have been best left to the past, a kind of dignified death media rarely gets in today’s culture of, as Morissey once said, “re-issue, re-package, re-package.”

all the visuals, be it the grossout and grotesque, or the clever and oggling spectacles, make this film at least a memorable and oozy experience.