You, dear moviegoer, must not buy a ticket to this badly programed sequel. You must save the world from Universal Soldier III: How Bad Can It Get?

If Universal Soldier: The Return isn't the dullest, most derivative, unimaginative, noisy, repetitive, mind-numbing and generally imbecilic movie of the year, it's not because director Mic Rodgers wasn't trying hard enough.

Whereas Emmerich's original had enough personality and energy to provide solid (if stupid) entertainment, Rodgers seems content to merely cobble together a succession of blatantly lifted-and poorly executed-set-pieces

At least there are a handful of impressive fire-based stunts and glass-breaking collisions.